The Body Image Hypocrisy

I watch the same morning news show on a fairly regular basis. This morning, the stories and their juxtapositions illustrated the biggest challenge we are facing when it comes to fitness: the body image hypocrisy.

A story about how a celebrity stays in shape (read: keeps her perfect body) after 40, the narrative running in the background as we watch her pose for a photo shoot in bikini bottoms and stilettos. The next story, the “magic mirror” in IKEA, asking women to rate how they feel when they look in the mirror. The vast majority of women choosing less-than-favorable options, and then being reduced to tears when the mirror says, “No, you’re good enough.” The next segment: steals and deals on anti-aging products for your skin. AND HAIR. Because now we have to worry about our hair looking old?

I see this happen with my clients. A woman felt great about her own progress, until she saw a 20-something former gymnast bend herself in half, every guy in the facility captivated. Her face fell, and she looked at her feet and said, “I’ll never look like that.” Others look disparagingly at their mid-sections and say, “it’ll never be flat…”

Underwear companies and cereal commercials try to empower us to be proud of whatever shape we are. Seems like a really nice thing, and I bought in until I realized they are still profiting from this perpetual feeling that no matter how hard we work, we will never be “perfect.” We won’t have flat bellies and toned whatever. But we’ll eat that cereal because it also suggests that if we do, we’ll lose weight.

The message is not to embrace your shape or your body. It’s to settle for it. The line is so thin and grey, but ultimately, we’re not getting at the root of the problem. We’re telling the 95% percent of the population who will never look like society’s ideals to settle. We’re the C students of body image. “Well, if this is the best you can do, then, we’re proud of you…  sorta.” 

But we don’t mean it. We don’t really mean it when we say, “You’re a size awesome.” Because the focus is still on the size. “You’re not a size 4? Oh, well, that’s ok… you’re a size… uhm… AWESOME!” It’s a false message of praise. Because those women are still being forced to focus on their size. It’s a constant reminder of what they aren’t.

I don’t have a solution. I don’t know how you change an entire society’s perspective, unless they want to change. Because we can say we’re all about embracing our individual shape, size, age, but we’re still buying anti-aging serums, we’re still buying gimmicky videos and pills and weight loss systems because they are tapping into this insecurity and “solving” it. We’re not shifting our focus to healthy living and healthy aging. We’re latching on to every false promise of weight loss. Gluten free, because you’ll lose weight.  Paleo diet, because you’ll lose weight. This serum so you’ll look younger. Don’t age! Don’t be fat! But if you are… well, it’s… fine…I guess.